momof2teens

It's a cool morning, temperature-wise. I have the doors open, hot coffee in hand and I'm reading the Sunday paper. I took a moment to think about the right word that would fit the space on the crossword and started daydreaming. At least, when I was in grade school that was what the teachers called it. I think they have other words for it today. 

In my first blog, I mentioned identities and how I'm struggling with which group do I identify with right now. This morning, I'm thinking about my identity as a momof2teens. I just went and adjusted their blankets and made sure they were covered up. As I put my hand on their heads, I watched my children shift in their slumber and snuggle into their pillows and take that big intake of breath as they moved and settled. These are my babies and they are growing up. 

My daughter will head to college in a few days and I'm so stinking excited for her to experience the next chapter of her life. She gets to forge her own path, with an academic plan of her own, meet new people from so many different places and enjoy, what was for me, some of the best years of her life.  She is so ready to go, but I will miss the talks, laughter and messes that she makes all over the house. I have an ache in my heart and I blink back tears just writing about it, but I wouldn't hold her back for anything.

My son will be a junior in high school. He is my affectionate one. The one with the big bear hugs and easy laugh. I'm lucky because he talks to me, oh not when anyone else can hear, but he talks to me about important things, feelings, peer pressure, that kind of stuff. John plays high school football. It's what he loves. And when I see him get on the field and take up the position he loves to play, my heart swells for him, knowing he is in his element. And when I see him stand on the sideline, waiting for his name to be called, I ache for him. I never thought being a football mom would have so many ups and downs on Game Day. 

It's a Sunday morning, and my babies are sleeping in their beds. I want to package their smells, their sweet faces, their love of life and keep that package close to me, hugging it tight.