Rollercoaster

I made a Facebook post earlier this week about how sometimes parenting hurts. At the time, I really couldn't elaborate because to address my feelings reopened the floodgates and I really needed to get through the day. I received an overwhelming response with friends stopping by with hugs, messages and phone calls. I'm lucky. I have wonderful friends.

Yesterday we took our daughter to college. I wasn't sure how I would react to the day, or what her actions would be. I have been having separation pangs for several weeks now, so I was taking lots of deep breaths, and had teary eyes which meant I had to look at the ceiling to keep my tears from falling. Oh I know she will be fine, more than fine, and I can't wait to watch her find her place in this new world she is experiencing. One the hardest things about yesterday was watching the mileage markers count down to the town as we drove. It seemed like it was a fast trip, however my daughter said she thought it took forever. Unloading was easy, the stairs to the 6th floor never got any shorter and we stayed until she said she was ready for us to go. I gave her a good hug, got all misty-eyed, because that's what I do, and then we let her know we were a phone call away and walked out the door.

This week my son made the decision to leave the football team. It's what we've done for 9 years, watched our boy play the sport he loves so much. And part of that is being a football booster and sharing the experiences with friends and family, cheering and volunteering. I'm really going to miss being a part of that group. I was so proud to be the mom of #53. I've watched him grow and become a better player. I remembered when he made the unbelievable tackle during the Toy Bowl that earned him a call of his name over the loud speaker. I recalled watching him get angry and take it out on opponents-bigger than him but not better. He used to talk about wanting to play football for as long as he could. This week, he decided that he just didn't love it anymore. Oh, he still loves the sport, just doesn't love playing it anymore. I've cried a bucket of tears over this, and he offered to continue to play-for me-because he knew how much I cared. But I had to respect his decision, because at the end of the day, it wasn't about me, it was about him.

So yeah, parenting hurts. But there are joys and celebrations too. It's a real roller coaster and I think about the scene in the movie ParentHood where they looked at each other and said, 'I wouldn't want it any other way'.